Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
