i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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