Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
