Nicole vs. Life
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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