I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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