the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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