We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
