Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize