My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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