Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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