okay pat passed out under dana's car
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize