Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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