But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
