One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I believe in your delicious
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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