put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
