i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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