You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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