Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
