How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
