i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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