6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
