If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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