so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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