I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
