I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
