Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
