You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this will be a night to untag.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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