i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
