We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
