I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
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Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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