but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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