i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
