My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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