Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate