i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?