my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
