Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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