when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
