Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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