just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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