it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
