i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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