Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
