More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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