I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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