Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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