he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have already put on my inside pants.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
