You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
