What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
