so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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