i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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