You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
