You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
