Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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