i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
