Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
