Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
