i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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