Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
