dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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