I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
