She said her name was "party"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
