For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
