im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
