are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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