Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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