would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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