Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
